Find your ideal partner, soulmate

How to Find Your Soulmate


Conversations with a yogi…



Master, why is it so difficult to find my soulmate?


You have to be very clear about who your soulmate is. If you are not sure what you are looking for, how can you expect to find it? (TWEET THIS)


I am very clear about what I want in my ideal partner. I have a detailed picture about what she looks like, what kind of person she is, what kind of interests and values she has. But I can’t seem to meet the right person.


Because you are looking too hard.


*Looks confused*


Stop looking for her. Stop searching. Stopping chasing. Stop running.

Just stop.

Be still.

All that you seek lies within you.


Master, I understand that the path to enlightenment lies within, but I am a worldly man. I long for a wife and family. How will going within help me find my soulmate?


*Sighs* How sad it is that in today’s modern world young people are educated to believe that success and happiness is to be got by chasing after external things!

If only you knew, young aspirant, how powerful is the spiritual Self that lies within you.

If only you knew what miracles you could achieve by merging with the Self!

The Self is not only within you. It is also in others. It is everywhere and in everything. It is the great intelligence that gave rise to the Universe. It is the power that fuels the Sun and the stars. It is the force that gives violent birth to galaxies and planets. And it is the life-force that pulses in even the tiniest fly. It is the energy that explodes in the crack of lightening. It is the unstoppable surge of the ocean tides. And it is even in the delicate beat of the butterfly’s wings. This is the Self. Whatever name you choose to give it, it is the same Self that exists everywhere, in everything, in everyone.

How can going within to connect with the Self NOT help you find your ideal partner?!


Master, I am not yet enlightened like you… I have not experienced this power of the Self.  I still don’t understand how this will lead me to my future wife. What practical thing could I do to use the power of the Self?


I can see that this longing you have for wife and family is holding you back from seeking  enlightenment. Perhaps your path to enlightenment is to go through the lessons of human love and family responsibility. Then you may learn to master your lower nature, to understand the true meaning of self-sacrifice, and overcome the selfish ego.

Nevertheless you can experience the power of the Self even while you are still exploring your path.

Very well, I will explain what you can do…

I said that you must stop and be still. The reason for this is twofold:

Only when you are still can you go within and merge with the Self. When you connect with the Self you will experience its power and you will never again be the same person. Up to now you have not experienced it, but I promise you it is there waiting for you. The Self has been waiting for you for countless lives, hundreds of thousands of years, waiting patiently all the time for the day when you decide to stop and go within.

The true yogi connects with the eternal Self everyday and merges his being with the Divine consciousness. (TWEET THIS)

The experienced yogi has learned to live in the Self continuously without the need to stop and be still. Such a yogi is absorbed always in God, and uses his body as a tool to serve the will of the Self in the world.

The full power of the infinite Self is too much to experience in the first instant… like plugging your laptop directly in to the main power grid … you will be fried to a crisp from the super-high voltage. So the Self reveals itself to you gradually. Little by little it infuses you with its power. Progressively you become accustomed to the higher vibrations of Divine consciousness, until at length you break the bonds of karma and reside permanently in God, being sent into the incarnation of a physical body as and when you are needed to carry out the will of God. Such are the true master yogis in this world.

The second reason why you should stop and be still is because you have to re-assess who and what you are if you want to attract into your life your soulmate.

You have to stop chasing after every woman that catches your eye. Stop running this way and that, expending all your energy so you end up totally exhausted. Heavens, you can’t even give enough energy to your work and responsibilities because you are so wrapped up in the pull of your senses!

You must stop, and centre yourself. Bring back your energy from external things and direct it inwards on yourself. Focus on your life and who you are as a person. The reason you not attracting the right person is because you are not projecting the right “you” for that ideal person.

Who you attract into your life is a reflection of the kind of person you are. (TWEET THIS)

You must examine yourself carefully. Your habits, your behaviour, your attitudes. Scrutinise yourself and change those things within you that you don’t want to see in others. Work on improving yourself and you will attract the ideal woman into your life.


How does focusing on myself attract the ideal person? Is it some kind of magic only the yogi masters know of?


*Laughs* This is no magic! It is simple logic. Think about it… you have a clear vision of your ideal woman, right? Now imagine what kind of man she would want to be with. Would she not want to be with someone who is self-confident, happy, humorous, educated, financially and emotionally stable, fit and healthy, and who maybe has lots of interests?

If you focus your energy on becoming that man, you will catch the attention of women who fit your ideal. And it will seem like magic! *Laughs*


But I think I am actually a nice guy. In general I don’t have much problem with those things you mention.


Find your ideal partner

Are you so sure about that? If you stop and examine yourself honestly I bet there is much room for improvement.

Look, ask yourself these questions:

1.   Do you sincerely love yourself?

2.   Do you enjoy your own company?

3.   Do you take responsibility for the things in your life?

4.   Are you highly self-confident?

5.   Are you mature in your attitude and behaviour?

6.   Are you clear about what you want in life and where you are going?

7.   Do you look after yourself physically?

8.   Do you connect with your spiritual Self?

9.   Are you happy?

10. Are you emotionally and financially stable?

If you can honestly say “yes” to these 10 questions, I promise that you will become a “chick magnet”! *Laughs*

This is the kind of person others like to be around. You will inevitably attract someone with these similar qualities of happiness, self-confidence, and personal standards that you are looking for.


Now I see why you said I have to stop and be still. I’m going to stop wasting my energy in searching everywhere, and direct my focus inwards, on my own life and my inner spiritual connection.


Ahhhh. Now you’ve got it! And imagine what you will achieve when you focus on improving yourself and at the same time connect with the immense power of the eternal Self!

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Photo credits:
Meditation© by Moyan Brenn
Lions in Love© by Francois de Halleux






2 responses to “How to Find Your Soulmate”

  1. Jason

    ah! I did not notice this comment section the first time. I enjoy lively sensible discussion and the idea that it is a good idea to follow the yogi’s advice caused a knee jerk reaction in me that is probably contrary to most people’s thinking. was his advice good? Yes, indeed, it is always wise to search, meditate and find one’s self in order to attract those souls that are most compatible. was this useful, and effective advise? Not at all. It was stupid advice. I would have starved a dozen time over if I decided to look within and take the time (years) to find myself before searching for a good job. the yogi denied the students experience, in short telling him his desire for a wife and family was not as important as he thought, and he should forget about that. This is a yogi who probably doesn’t have a girl friend. Hormone trump enlightenment. sorry, that reality. better advice is to sign up at the survey has a good chance of revealing his unconscious identitiy and those he meets will eventually bring out the best in him.

    1. Hi Jason,

      I appreciate you being open with your thoughts on this post. I too enjoy some good debate around these topics.

      First I’ll just point out that the yogi’s advice was specifically about trying to attract a compatible partner. Not, as you seem to infer, to find a job. The two things are qualitatively different and I would definitely agree with you that that would indeed be a stupid way to look for a job, but not necessarily stupid if you want to attract someone who is compatible with you.

      Although the yogi did tell him to stop searching for a partner, I would say that that he wasn’t implying that he should completely forget about it. He does after all say that by “working on improving yourself you will attract the ideal woman into your life”. He is just saying that if you don’t have at least some sort of connection with your own spirituality, to be clear about who you are and what you want, then you will have a hard time meeting and keeping someone who is.

      Of course there are many other practical strategies for finding a partner, like as you say, using online dating etc. But in my own experience, I’ve found that if you expend your time and energy chasing after people without first getting at least some of your inner “stuff” sorted, you just end up exhausted and frustrated. Sure you can use online dating and other methods to meet and date with lots of people, but to find a relationship that is harmonious with who you are at a deeper level, you need to be clear yourself about who you are. As the yogi says, when you are happy and confident, doing the things you love, self-dependent, you become a much better match for like-minded persons.

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